If you have any further questions, we encourage you to contact us. You can also read more about IMBRA here.

Some Tips: Dos and Don'ts of Direct Correspondence

There are many things that we cannot control when you begin direct correspondence because we are out of the loop at that point. However, the Dos and Don'ts below will help you to avoid problems and/or unnecessary frustration. If you have any questions or concerns about your direct correspondence please contact us immediately and we can offer helpful advice or look into any potential problems. It is our sincere desire to facilitate your success in any way that we reasonably can.

DO send gifts - It is OK to send typical gifts, like roses and such. As long as it is not excessive and outside of what normal dating entails, it is not a problem. Excessive gifts, that she asks for herself (phone, laptop, etc.), can be a red flag and you should contact us for advice before acting.

DO NOT send money - Most women who are sincere and have your best interest at heart will not ask for money. You might hear a variety of reasons why she needs money from you, some more believable than others, but it is almost always a scam. Even if she tells you to send money so she can get a visa to come to visit, you should say no, as that is actually a common scam. Tourist visas are actually very hard for foreign nationals to obtain. When the time comes to meet, you should go there. If you are ever asked for money, please notify us so we can look into it.

DO Be Patient - Most women abroad have busy lives with work and family obligations, so they might not be able to respond to your communication immediately. You should also be aware of the time difference when considering the turnaround time. Please keep in mind that the woman had a lot of extra support, especially with translation, when corresponding through the website. When using more direct communication, without that support, it may also impact the turnaround time. If they don't understand something, many of the women are very shy to respond because they are afraid they will say something wrong. And, for some reason, they can be reluctant to TELL you that they don't understand. Keep your communication very simple (vocabulary) and clear. Don't assume they should understand you. For nearly all of these women, English is not their first language. Even the most fluent women may have trouble understanding sophisticated vocabulary and sentences - or metaphors and acronyms that we may commonly use in our country.

DO NOT be concerned if you do not receive an immediate reply - Just because she cannot reply the minute you have sent her an e-mail, does not mean she has "disappeared". Please give the woman a day or two, especially after that first e-mail. If for any reason you do not receive a reply after a reasonable amount of time, please reach out to us and we will look into it. There can be a variety of reasons why she may not have responded, like the e-mail address may have been off by one character, or maybe your message went into her spam. Additionally, many of these women have to PRE-PAY for their cellphone and/or data services. Their cellphones are often their only convenient method of communicating. There could be lapses in their service since they may need to "re-load" their phones. Outages are not unusual. Immediate costs could be an issue. What we take for granted in our country relative to communication infrastructure, can be much more difficult for them in their country. Again, you need to have some understanding and patience.

DO be courteous - Most women are hesitant to start direct contact because they do not want to be harassed. If you show that you are polite and carry on like a gentleman, she is much more likely to be responsive. Rude or obsessive behavior will reflect badly on your character and is a fast-track to her ignoring or blocking you.

DO NOT send obscene content/photos/text - Illicit photos, and talk, are probably the one thing these women fear the most. It is harassment and will result in her ending the correspondence. If you engage in that behavior, we cannot and will not help you with the inevitable result. One of the biggest complaints that we get from the women about their experience on other dating sites is men sending (or asking for) explicit photos, sexual suggestions or innuendos, and other uncontrolled, inappropriate behavior. Even the most open-minded women who participate in our service are turned off by that type of behavior. One reason that our service appeals to women is so that they can avoid that. So be classy. Be considerate. BE A GENTLEMAN! Always. It will get you a lot further with these ladies if you are.

DO make plans to meet in person - Although you are in direct contact, it is still extremely important to meet face to face. You and the lady will not know how serious the relationship is until you have established whether you even hit it off with each other. If you do not meet and establish where the relationship is going (gauge your chemistry), the direct correspondence will inevitably fizzle out. The goal of these women is to ACTUALLY MEET a man they can potentially spend the rest of their life with. They largely aren't interested in being an endless "chat pal". Their interest level (even excitement) will usually dial-up substantially if they know that you actually have a PLAN to eventually MEET them. With a goal (target date). And if you don't have some sort of general plan, at the least, as to how and when you may be able to meet these women then you are also doing yourself a disservice - wasting time and money right now, here. You need to have some sort of an "end goal" mentality - even if there are numerous unknowns and variables going on in your life right now. That's not likely to change. We all have that. We've had gentlemen spend thousands and thousands of dollars for YEARS writing and communicating with women. Then, FINALLY, as much as 10 years later, decide to travel to meet the women. To a man, we ALWAYS hear "Why didn't I do this YEARS ago?" They wasted all of that money and years of their life - because they didn't have a plan - or a goal. Life changes. Responsibilities and commitments change. That often changes plans. And goals have to be modified. That's life. But if you don't have plans and goals - you don't know where you are trying to go. Any vague plan to start will do. Just make sure you have one.

DO NOT assume that direct contact means that you are in a serious relationship - Even if you do have direct contact, you still have not met each other yet. This means that the woman can still potentially lose interest or meet someone else, at a social or elsewhere. If this happens, the direct correspondence can slow down or stop. Just because she decided to give you her personal contact information does not mean that she is all YOURS! She has a life and she may have other potential interests as well. Direct contact is generally nothing more than the early stages of, unfortunately, a digital courtship. Of course, this can evolve into somewhat of a more serious, even committed relationship - albeit digitally. But the REAL courtship and relationship will not start until the two of you actually meet in person. This is the only way that you can gauge your true compatibility, chemistry - and love. You need to have a plan (see above). And you need to be sure and keep things in perspective. History has taught us over and over that our hearts can often make that brutally difficult to do sometimes.

We hope all of this information is helpful for you. Our "real people" staff is always here to assist you. Simply contact us anytime.